with love, salma

Hello!

Yes, you read it right. There is a change in the name. Again lol

I have never been able to stick to one name for anything (apart from my email address). This blog name has been changing since I started it all those years ago. 

Stories to Enjoy. Tamara Lyon. [my full name]. Books and Nonsense. With Love, Sammy. and now finally to With Love, Salma. I hope I dont change again after this 😂

The reason i changed was because although sammy is a form of nickname (that no one really uses) I figured I want to use my real name now. There is nothing wrong with Sammy, the same way there is nothing wrong with Salma. I never knew why I hid behind fake names for so long. Earlier it was Tamara Lyon. That was my writing alias until 2015 I think. When I published that (Godforsaken) book under my full name that was when I let it go. But on my other platforms, I kept using the name Sammy. 

Now as I am growing older I realize that I dont mind my real name being known. I was named Salma by my parents and I should be using that name proudly right.so what is it about names?

 My name Salma means the opposite of me. It means calm and peace. I have never known calm and peace. and I know my parents didnt name me that expecting peace from me. 

I have always felt loud, like the raging ocean. chaotic and blue. So my name shouldn't have really mattered this much right. but it did. especially when I realized how much a name can become your identity. When people call you by something other than your given name, I feel like you become someone else. I think that's the charm about having aliases. You are given the freedom to create a character that is completely different from who you really are. 

And while that is fun and all, you could also lose the sight of who you really are. 

I want to find myself. I want to know who I really am without all these extra names. I want to know as Salma. Am I the grumpy kid from seventh grade who prefers books over friends. Am I the loud and sad kid from ninth grade who tried to make friends. Am I the angry and colourful kid from eleventh grade who wished she could go back into her shell and hide. Am I the quiet and lying kid from freshman year who doesn't know where all her rage went. Even now I wonder which part of me is true and which part of me is a mask. 

Did all of that really come from just a change in my internet name. lol yes it did. and I have no idea how to end this mess of an essay so I am just going to say,

My name is Salma and welcome to my corner of the internet. Here's to a new journey with my old and right name. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧