confused

sometimes i dont know why i feel this way. like i cant breathe and i just dont like anything in this world anymore. sometimes i just wanna leave everything i ever do and run away. run somewhere far far away. sometimes i get really really mad. i dont think. the words just come tumbling from my mouth, hurting. and sometimes maybe even killing.

there are times where all i want to do is cry when i dont know why i am crying. i just feel like doing so. i vecome frustrated and irritated and so so annoyed with everything and everyone and i dont know why. and this scares me. it scares me. the fact that my mood changes so fast and my emotions are so unbalanced and i am just all over the place.

i am scared that my irrational self would hurt someone. anyone. and i dont even know what i want to do sometimes. its just plain scary. i have plans, hopes. i have big dreams that i want to accomplish. to achieve. but i am constantly being refrained from it. i am being pushed to do other things. other things that i am not necessarily a big fan of. but i have to do so. because it keeps others happy. everytime i try to bring up the fact that i wanna be happy too they say that i am happy enough. and that pisses me off. they act like they know every single thing about me but i know they dont. and i wish i could make people understand that.

=)♥sammy